M.

"you can never tell what type of impact you may make on another's life by your actions...or lack of action"
something that we should reflect on.

we finally made payments for our online goodies ystd.
my first online shopping!

i cant believe that i actually bought 7 straight.
woahhhh!
now just waiting for the day to collect them.
excited yo!(:

dinner was heart-warming.
im really touched that you came back for me.
thanks for that gesture, it did meant a lot (:
we made our own dinner.
had our own recipe of apple shake and hotdog with cheese prata.
it was yummilicious, LOL :D

then it was a session of online shopping again.
i think we did have the intention of studying but well...haha!
guess what, now, we MIGHT consider in getting those 7 bags.
LOL!!!
this is getting addictive, goodness!(:

oh, i watched mei kinda fashion parade.
she's soooooo funny.
i cant believe she cannot finalize her decision just because of....LOL!
oh, and i have to say this that she have a unique way of trying on her clothes.

*look, pause, tilt to left*
this repeats over and over again until she's happy with her clothes.
ROFL!!!:D

i found that motivation to keep on going in achieving my goal.
thanks mei for willing to participate in that agreement.
we had this agreement together that we have to achieve by the end of this year and i believe we can.
right mei? (:
as we were planning, mummy came in and joined us on the bed.
mummy soooo hilarious, always on different frequency with us but i love how mummy always try to humour us.
not long, xiang came back.
mummy kept teasing her.
she always never fail to do that whatever she's on the bed with us.
it was an enjoyable night and we fell asleep together on one bed.

went out with b to tamp to look for handphone pouch.
thank God!
b finally found something he like.
i bought 1 too and im quite happy with it, haha!

as we were quite early for simpang, we headed home, his home.
fb-ing, online shopping and watched tv to pass time.
then about 7, we left for simpang.
we ordered agio olio, teh-peng and banana ice cream prata.
thumbs up for that.
i ate 2/5 of it and i was superduper full already, LOL!
thanks b for that wonderful dinner treat! (:

bused and walked home.
alissa came over to the house.
i think she bought bubble tea for every1 and i think that bubble tea in the fridge was mine.
well, i drank it so i think it was and since nobody asked for any missing bubble tea in the fridge, it's a double confirm i guess.
thanks alissa for the bubble tea! (:
i wonder if you ever see this.

I WAS STUPID!
DAMN STUPID!
I SAW WHAT U WROTE AND I GOT REALLY FED UP JUST BY THINKING OF HOW THOSE PEOPLE TREATED YOU THAT WAY BUT ALL WAS FOR NOTHING!
YOU WERE RIGHT, IM F* SOFT-HEARTED!
I SHOULD NOT EVEN CARE, WHAT I GET IN RETURN ALWAYS!
WHAT?
NOTHING!

HOW I ALWAYS ENVY THOSE FAMILIES WHERE THEIR RELATIONSHIPS ARE SO DAMN CLOSE.
WALKING DOWN THE STREETS JUST MAKES ME DAMN IRRITATED TO BE PLACED IN SUCH SITUATION.

WHY AM I THE FIRST!?
WHY?

ONE ALWAYS, ON AND OFF, GIVE ME ATTITUDE.
ONE NOT IN THE MOOD JUST ANYHOW RANT AT ME.

WHEN IM HAVING PROBLEMS WHO DO I TURN TO?
I F* CANT EVEN GO UP TO YOU AND ASK ABOUT MY WORK!
IM HAVING A LOT OF DIFFICULTIES, A LOT, WHO SEE? WHO HELP?
DID YOU GUYS EVER TRY TO ASK ME WHETHER IM ALRIGHT?
NOOOOOOOOOOO!
WHEN YOU GUYS HAVING PROBLEMS, WHO WENT TO TRY PROBE ON WHAT HAPPENED? WHEN I WAS 'SLAPPED' WITH THAT ATTITUTE, I STILL KEEP TRYING TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU'RE ALRRIGHT?
WHEN IM SICK, YOU FREAKING SAY 'SERVE YOU RIGHT? WHO ASK YOU DONT EAT PROPERLY?'
WHEN YOU GUYS ARE SICK, WHO'S THE THE ONE TRY HER BEST TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE ALRIGHT?
FIND PANADOL, COOKED PORRIDGE IF NEEDED AND ETC?
I GUESS WHEN IM DYING AND GO UP TO YOU AND I SAID IM REALLY DYING, YOU GUYS WOULD JUST SLEEP AND SHOVE ME AWAY.

SAY I CHILDISH OR WHATEVER!
U FREAKING DONT UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION IM IN SO DUN ANYHOW SAY THAT TO ME.
WHEN I START TO IGNORE YOU MEANS IM TRYING TO FORGET WHO WE ARE.
TONS AND TONS OF SCARS APPEARED IN MY HEART, YOU WOULDNT EVEN KNOW HOW THAT FEELS BECAUSE I FREAKING DONT DO THAT TO YOU ON AND OFF.

SO MANY INCIDENTS SLOWLY CAUSED ME TO LOSE HOPE.
IF YOU REALISED, LITTLE THINGS ACCUMULATES!!!!
DONT KEEP HURTING ME, PLEASE!

my leg died on me today.
the pain was excruciating.
getting up from bed was difficult and climbing down was a torture!
it took me 5 mins!!!
whatever i do, it hurts.

for the entire day, i walked like a robot.
i barely could lift my feet.
i practically dragged my feet to walk from one room to another.
this made me very listless cos i didnt feel like doing anything.

i felt really guilty ):
not only did i not keep up to my plan of running everyday,, i didnt study much at all.
stress level increased.

how i wish i could be there to surprise you,
to sabo you,
to hug you,
to carry all your presents...

no, it's not going to happen.

did you know that you're terribly missed?
i miss having heart-to-heart talk with you,
miss giving advise,
miss arguing with you,
miss joking around with you,
miss protecting you,
miss making lots of noise in class with you,
miss eating in class with you,
miss eating together during recess with you,
miss skipping extra classes with you,
miss taking the train with you,
miss camwhoring with you,
miss going shopping with you...

did you know that every time i walked past ajisen, i would think of you?

i miss you!
i miss you!
i miss you!
A LOT!


things will never be the same again!
you probably never get to see this.

P.S. im sorry!

 ystd was eclipse's day.



what a lovely sight!
if only i could be there to watch it live...

and there was mummy being so random asking me where would my honeymoon be.
i said switzerland or barcelona and she said, "no lar, go china lar so i can go also"
-.-"
LOL!